Today is my 23rd birthday.

It does not appear it will be my child’s day of birth.

Carry on.

So. My due date - at 40 weeks gestation - is January 10th. White, western, first-time mothers tend to average eight days past their due date - which would put us at January 18th. A “normal” pregnancy will usually last between 37 and 42 weeks - which means a range up to January 24th. A full week post-term (43 weeks) would put us at January 31st.

My point? I am almost certainly giving birth sometime this month. If I’m still pregnant come February 1st… Well, you won’t have to visit PGB to know it - the wailing and gnashing of teeth will likely be audible from sea to shining sea.

Anyway, a January birth is almost certain, and that means January posts on PGB are going to be scarce. I’m not terribly busy right now, but I am trying to sleep as much as possible, discover that “nesting” instict people keep swearing I should have, and come to terms with the fact there’s now a flipping carseat in my vehicle. I definitely intend to announce the birth whenever it happens, but I’ll probably be very scarce for a little while after that. I just wanted to address this so y’all didn’t worry/take me off your blogrolls/send hate mail.

Now, for some fun: I think you should all comment with your birth predictions. You know - date, time, sex (nope, we didn’t find out), weight, length… and anything else you feel like adding.

Warning: The smartass who thinks it’s funny to predict a 12lb/23in baby born on February 10th after 42 hours of labor will be hunted down and killed.

Well, comrades, it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting a little ‘08 tax credit. No baby yet, and I don’t anticipate him or her making an appearance in the next four hours. The child has very deliberately ignored my instructions to arrive before midnight so I can spend said tax credit on his/her first black rifle. Fail, baby. Fail.

With that, we’re off to hang out with some friends and ring in the new year in some low-octane fashion. I hope you all have a safe and happy evening of celebration, and may 2009 be a good year for all of us - it’s surely going to be an interesting one.

Keep your powder dry, friends, and happy new year!

Mike Shanahan Is Fired by Denver Broncos Following 8-8 Season

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

Dear Denver,

WHAT. WAS. THAT. SHIT.

Denver (8-8) completed a monumental collapse, becoming the first team since division play began in 1967 to miss the playoffs after having a three-game lead with three weeks to go. Needing just one win to wrap up the division, the Broncos lost at Carolina, at home to Buffalo and then to the Chargers.

Congratulations on Couging it TIMES THREE.

Oh, and Jay “I have a stronger arm than John Elway” Cutler: SHUT UP. If, a year from now, you manage to go better than .500 on a HOW COULD THEY LOSE IT NOW season, YOU CAN TALK AGAIN.

UUUUUGH! You know what? THIS BABY IS GOING TO BE A SEAHAWKS FAN!

No love,

ME

I kept hearing a racket out on the porch every time I let Artemis (the black lab, in case you haven’t been paying attention) outside. I couldn’t figure out just what she was up to. Finally, I caught her in the act:

She was climbing up on a patio chair, knocking icicles off the roof overhang and eating them.

She brought one in the house, in fact, and is munching it in the middle of the living room as we speak. This shouldn’t surprise me, seeing as I also caught her eating a bag of ice I’d thrown out in the snow to make room for some stuff in my freezer. What a weirdo.

Merry Christmas from Laurel, The Inconvenience, The Sister… and the newest one on the way - any day now!

We all hope your stockings were chock-full of ammo.

(I’d have posted earlier, but we had this picture printed up and framed for several family members, and I didn’t want them to see it here first.)

City code officer slays Snowzilla - Giant snowman deemed a public nuisance, safety hazard

After I read the article aloud to Mike, I think he summed it up best with these two words: “People suck.”

Federal Government to Loan Automakers $17.4B

The federal government will help Detroit’s ailing automakers survive at least another few months by offering $17.4 billion in rescue loans in exchange for concessions from carmakers and their workers.

The government will have the option of becoming a stockholder in the companies, much as it has with major banks, in effect partially nationalizing the industry.

At the same time, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said Congress should release the last half of the $700 billion from the Wall Street rescue fund that it approved in October to bail out huge financial institutions.

Tapping the fund for the auto industry essentially exhausts the first $350 billion of the fund, he said.

…

The president said that on the one hand, the government has a responsibility not to undermine the private enterprise system, yet on the other hand, it must safeguard the broader health and stability of the U.S. economy.

“If we were to allow the free market to take its course now, it would almost certainly lead to disorderly bankruptcy and liquidation for the automakers,” he said.

“Under ordinary economic circumstances, I would say this is the price that failed companies must pay,” the president said. “And I would not favor intervening to prevent the automakers from going out of business. But these are not ordinary circumstances.

“In the midst of a financial crisis and a recession, allowing the U.S. auto industry to collapse is not a responsible course of action.”

*deep breath*

Number one: Join me, Comrades!

Sing to the Motherland, home of the free,

Bulwark of people, in brotherhood strong!

Oh! Party of Lenin Bush Obama It doesn’t matter! The strength of the people.

To Communism’s triumph lead us on!

Number two: Since Henry Paulson has demonstrated his dedication to using the Wall Street bailout fund only for its intended purpose, bailing out large financial institutions, I can certainly see why Congress should release the second half after they tapped out the first half giving money to car companies. …Wait, what?

Number three: Would somebody like to point out to me when exactly the government was letting the free market take its course, ever? And perhaps point out to GWB that the current financial crisis was more or less orchestrated by the government? What criteria, exactly, would be required to make this circumstance more “ordinary?” It seems to me like the series of events that led up to this, and the government’s response, are exactly the status quo.

Number four: Ford didn’t take any money (yet). Good on ‘em.

Remember my post from a few weeks ago, where I quoted a comment from a forum discussion on gun ownership? The specific remark was:

Of course NO
i prefer someone to shoot me that to kill somebody.
hopefully in greece where I live we don’t have very high criminality

I wonder how that’s working out for her.

A week of protests and rioting by students venting fury over the death of 15-year-old Alexandros Grigoropoulos has thrown Greece into turmoil, causing hundreds of millions of pounds of damage and focusing attention on economic, political and social woes.

“It feels as though we are in Iraq or Afghanistan,” said Kittas, peering once more through the window. “I think I can hear them,” he said nervously. “I think they’ve broken in.”

…

The protests continued yesterday and more demonstrations are planned. Some see a foretaste of the next phase of the global financial crisis, sensing in the tear gas and chants a warning to European leaders of what may unfold elsewhere if they do not take into account the frustrations of their people.

Sympathy protests from Moscow to Madrid helped to fuel such concerns, as did Nicolas Sarkozy, the French president, who mentioned the Greek upheaval to justify his rejection of budget proposals that would have cushioned the wealthy from losses.

…

“Athens must burn, especially the banks,” a teenager called Marios in a hooded sweat-shirt and jeans told me during a protest on Friday.

Nearby, rioters had smashed the display screens of cash dispensers and shattered dozens of shop windows, carting off mobile telephones, watches, clothes and computers. A few rioters dragged a drinks refrigerator on to the street, ripped off the back and filled their arms with bottles and cans. They drank a few and used the rest as projectiles.

Down the road, policemen watched from behind riot shields but did nothing: the government has ordered them not to use force in order to avoid further bloodshed. This has fuelled anger among shopkeepers who complained that Athens, after being rebuilt amid great fanfare for the Olympics, had been left to burn.

“People have a right to demonstrate,” said Katarini Halaounis, who lost thousands of pounds worth of stock when protesters looted her jewellery shop on Monday, “but not to destroy shops and businesses that have taken a lifetime to build. The government just doesn’t seem to be interested.”

…

Stratis Stratigis, former chairman of the Athens Olympics organising committee, suggested he might have an answer. “Our democracy is destroying itself because it misrepresented the right to liberty and equality,” says an e-mail circulating his friends. “It taught the citizens to regard disrespect as a right, lawlessness as liberty, impertinence as equality and anarchy as enjoyment.”

This is a quote from Socrates, the ancient philosopher who ended up being sentenced to death for voicing truths that nobody wanted to hear.

“It’s funny,” said Stratigis. “Those words have a ring about them today.”

What was that thing we were saying about societies? Something about armed and polite?